Written Whilst Dying

I hate you with every fiber of my being I hate you with everything I have and everything I will ever have and then some I hate you like I have never hated anyone or anything before I hate you and I hope you die I hate you and I hope you live so that you might feel the extent of my hatred for you I hate you in the morning when I rise And in the morning when I toil And in the afternoon while I toil And in the evening when I'm hating you And at night while I'm up all night hating you I hate you I will spend the entirety of my life hating you And when I die I will waste my last breath cursing your name Because I love you and you're irresponsible with the hearts of those who love you.

I never thought I would be held accountable for your words, I counted them because they came to me from you. I didn't know you would break my heart, But I knew from the first it was yours for the breaking. I didn't ask you to define our relate shun, But since you have and its definite shun is one where your words cannot care their weight, And you never need consider she who considered you: Goodbye at last.

He'd rather drop me than hurt me, to him made good sense. To hell with the fact, I've been hurting ever since.

For 4 hours I sat and I waited The good girl Always the good girl I waited with my despair your betrayal, your abandonment Your indifference, Your disgust As I watched you comfort yourself While I starved for comfort And then at the top of my lungs in the tiniest whisper In the clearest of language "Stop" "Do you want something?" "I can talk over you." "I can rage at you." "I can threaten to shut you up for good." I destroy myself loud as suicide bomber's tripped backpack But you hear nothing. Same as it ever was.